Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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