Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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