Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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