I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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