So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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