What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
