He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
