1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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