yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have fence marks all over my body
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
