so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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