Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
