that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
