i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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