Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
