she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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