Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
