I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
