butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
