Sponge bath it is.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
