Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
