i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
