she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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