We named our party play list daddy issues
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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