: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
