His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
