Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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