took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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