so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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