Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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