Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
