Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
