If that was your dad, he is hot
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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