Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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