I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
