Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
