Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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