what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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