the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
