Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
