This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
