physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
