ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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