I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
