I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
