It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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