So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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