This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
