He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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