hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
