..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
