Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
