My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
